The Memes Before Christmas

 You know a GIF is 3/4ths of a gift, right?

Streaming Finds: The Tangle

 

Sometimes when browsing streaming movie offers, you just find a thing you have to share, and The Tangle is exactly that thing. If you liked Blade Runner and Person of Interest, and enjoy locked room mysteries, this is going to tickle your tentacles. It's a noirish mystery regarding the murder of a sort of special agent in a speakeasy where she couldn't have easily been murdered by just anybody--

But whodunnit, in a digital meets meatspace world where digital poets and sheepish AI might be suspects? 

The dialogue has the Romantic poets, Phillip K. Dick and Heinlein all shooting through it. I may have called one character "Temu Trinity" at one point (also may have said "The coffee spoon is a lie"), but I'm sorry. I think there's conscious Matrix tribute in here, also. As in homage, not theft. 

Anyway, get your sympathetic neurosystem ready and onboard this film. It's a weird universe, but actually, kind of a straightforward mystery, and if you love mysteries, the ending has some fun no shit Sherlock vibes. 

So fun and recommended. 

We Have HOW Many Days to Christmas?

 

F'd it up again, right? Three-four days out from Cringletide and the stockings are short and the lists were long and you didn't even have enough wrapping paper to cover the spread. For one thing--Asshole! This day comes round the same date every year, pay attention next time! But also I've been there so let me  help you with the leaks in your holiday boat before you drown yourself in eggnog--again. 

Nothing is wrong with gift cards. The state mandates these hoobajoobs don't depreciate. so just admit you gave up, they are grown people and can buy their own shit and figure out a store they will actually go to.  Supermarkets are for real a good choice. People eat. Bread, eggs, carrots. Get them some of those reuseable shopping bags and wrap that up in a store circular (which is free) if you were so trash you didn't even have a reserve bag of wrapping. Amazon cards are also available at most supermarkets and drug stores, so you can do that, and buy a cute card. Job done. 

KoKo's Earth Control (1928): An Apocalyptic Hall of Famer

"Koko's Earth Control", a charming but dark Fleischer animated short, joins 24 other films in the Library of Congress Film Registry.  It truly gives one pause to imagine what can happen with a clown at the helm of potential disaster, beset with a troublesome and uncomprehending dog. 

Is it analogous to anything I can think of right now? 

O! Gosh! I don't know. Only, this little film was from before nuclear holocaust was a possibility, but the idea that man had the levers in his control was nonetheless quite real. 

There's some other personal faves getting inducted here--Angels with Dirty Faces, a Jimmy Cagney movie that, like Yankee Doodle Dandy and White Heat I watched with my dad as a kid with real delight because he was showing me his favorites, Up in Smoke because I listened to Cheech and Chong comedy records when I was probably too young to get all the jokes but they were still the funniest guys, and of course, iconic movies Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and No Country for Old Men (2007) . 

Anyway, I just wanted to share Koko because I think old-timey cartoons are great. 

And I don't know--is there Koko DNA somewhere in Art the Clown? (There's a warped family resemblance, but Koko is harmless, and....sheesh.) 

The Perfect Stocking Stuffer Doesn--HELLO!

 

Do you recognize that amazeballs pattern from at least two cinematic somewheres my horror-loving darlings? Of course you do! This shit is iconic. 

I was perusing my favorite category of accessory (the bags of holding) and saw this! You might not get it by Christmas, but people have birthdays, you know! And we will have a Christmas again next year, probably. Unless some Grinch steals it, which we know by now is very improbable. Which is also true for several other Xmas-related disasters. 

(Apropos of which, I work customer service and have experienced reverse-Grinches respond to "Happy Holidays!" with "You mean 'Merry Christmas!'" Nah. I was throwing in "Happy New Years" for free but now I'm taking it back! You don't KNOW me!) 

Anyways, this item comes in several styles that are pretty Goth/Steampunk-compliant. And you can always tell your friends that you are just doing Orthodox Xmas if your presents aren't in the post by 12/25. Oopah! 

We Are Back with a Fa-la-la-Ness

 Christmas is a time for giving, and I feel like giving some Christmas cheer this year by talking about Xmas-themed horror movies. We basically keep a scary light on from October 1 to New Year's in this house, so I wanted to spread the reason for the season (it sure gets dark in winter and scary shit happens) with my people. 

Anyway, I'm starting with a noble mess of a movie--A Creature Was Stirring. Keeping it real. stay for Chrissy Metz acting like nobody's business in a weird movie about the family ties that bind, and definitely wonder what the hell happened between how this movie started out and the ending. 

I don't believe the people making this movie knew how it was going to end before it did. Because um. 

Whut? 

It doesn't have a twist like "Conclave" has a twist, but like, it's twisted. There is no Christmas morning gift, here.

You know what does have one thought--in a really dark way? 

Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood"

I believe in better living through pop music and science fiction. Taylor Swift has a nice little song, but a big freaking video. You can mull over all the sf tropes, but also see where this pop song is working out how to detonate an ass-kicking musically.

I think Taylor Swift will be among the pioneers of pop weaponization. God if there is one have mercy on all our souls.