Christmas is a time for giving, and I feel like giving some Christmas cheer this year by talking about Xmas-themed horror movies. We basically keep a scary light on from October 1 to New Year's in this house, so I wanted to spread the reason for the season (it sure gets dark in winter and scary shit happens) with my people.
Anyway, I'm starting with a noble mess of a movie--A Creature Was Stirring. Keeping it real. stay for Chrissy Metz acting like nobody's business in a weird movie about the family ties that bind, and definitely wonder what the hell happened between how this movie started out and the ending.
I don't believe the people making this movie knew how it was going to end before it did. Because um.
Whut?
It doesn't have a twist like "Conclave" has a twist, but like, it's twisted. There is no Christmas morning gift, here.
You know what does have one thought--in a really dark way?
"Silent Night". Caution--it's very English innit?
But in a good, 'round the fireplace, dark foreboding apocalyptic story kind of way. Meet some posh arseholes facing the end of the world. Find yourself caring about them rather a lot very late in. It's lovely dark and very creepy at the end.
Here's a fave if you just like horror-themed Christmas--
This one is like my personal version of "It;s a Wonderful Life" in that it never gets old and always feels like its seasonally-appropriate. (Although you might like
"It's A Wonderful Knife" for a modern take on slashers, parallel universes, and Christmas--I liked it, but it isn't like this classic. It does have horror hall of famer Justin Long in some scary veneers and my imaginary boyfriend Joel McHale in it so those parts are great..) Do you like horror/comic vignettes and Bill Shatner? Well then, this is your kind of deal, friend.
But if you want to get well and truly freaky blinking lights out with the season,
Joe Bobb and them Mutants recently highlighted
"Rare Exports".
Think "A Christmas Story" where the kids have rifles already and old men elves are feral as shit and Santa is a whole giant Krampus thing. So actually, not at all like "A Christmas Story."
It's a really fucking dark solstice-y vanquishing the darkness season, and that's even before we start struggling with families, food and drinking and spending the last three weeks of December not even wanting to do work in the office (let alone the first couple weeks of January, am I right?)
So you might as well get your falalala yikes on.
