Oh, stop with your Airwick, we're Lampe Berger People, Obviously!

Do you Lampe Berger? Because if you are not doing la Lampe Berger, your living space probably smells like cabbage, wet dog, and "He swore this was the good shit, but, I dunno...."

We came across Lampe Berger lamps whilst traipsing around Peddlers' Village, because we are world-class traipsers and Peddlers' Village is not terribly far from our Far Northeast Philadelphian urban existence. It's a delightful jaunt. We pass sheep, ponies, and other rural things to get there. Things are different there. One can eat very regrettably and shop disgustingly. And we have.  I know this isn't a winning endorsement--but keep it under advisement. One can eat better and shop smarter than Peddlers Village, but one won't fucking Lampe Berger. I fucking Lampe Berger now.  I am too working class to know about this shit--but now I do. And now that I know, I can't unknow this shit, people!

The Lampe Berger is an invention from 1898 that began as a way to "purify" or at least, deodorize, hospitals. It uses a wick to soak up a scented oil/alcohol mix that perfumes a given area. This it does, very effectively.  If you have just cooked a mess of ribs and garlicked peas, your Lampe Berger will stop that mess from making you feel like the ghost of that meal is haunting you all night. It doesn't smoke like scented candles or incense and in its way, is terribly....pretty.  And the variety of scents of the House Berger are many, and for a nasal snob, too exciting.

There is an obvious connection between vagina-trees and the Lotto.

If only you will look for it!

(I'm obviously posting the picture for scientific interest.)

According to the story the this picture comes with, the tree somehow picked winning Lotto numbers.

Right. Because a tree that looks like recumbent lady-business is only really interesting if it can pick the lotto....

I haz also a squid--this is it.

This relates to the book review I'm working on for China Mieville's Kraken, in a way--it's a squid necklace:




It's from Noadi, whose stuff I kind of lusted after on Etsy until I broke down and....well. Steampunk squid it was.

It's a talisman, of sorts. It doesn't give me any luck, but when I look at it, I am promptly reminded "You are the kind of person who has a steampunk squid necklace." Isn't that cool enough?

I'm pretty much down with squid--and depending on the size of the squid, that could be pretty far down, indeed.

I haz ellerphunt. Let me show you it.

This is my elephant bottle opener. It is ridiculously cute, but it's also seriously practical. It's a bottle opener. Because it is decorative, unlike the other bottle openers I have, I can't lose the little feller. That makes it exceptionally handy. Also--again--it's cute. It's a little hard to tell, but the bottle-opener part is right where the trunk is. Cheers!

I got it this past weekend at Strawberry Jam on Main Street in New Hope. It's one of the dozen-or-so odd shops out that way I always find cool stuff in. (If you plan on going there--make a list of your friend's birthdays or anniversaries because they have a great card selection that kind of made me wish I had more interesting friends to give cards to.) Anyway, this blog is about random stuff. I randomly found a carved elephant statue that was a bottle-opener, and this qualifies as pretty neat stuff.